Nine days till Valentine’s day. Are you ready? If you’re a woman, you’re probably frantically sorting out those last-minute details. With few exceptions (and honestly I can’t really think of any), women seem to bear the brunt of Valentine’s Day prep.
If, like me, you’re a college student dating another student, your boyfriend either can’t afford, or is too cheap to do the whole fancy Le-Bec Fin-type deal. (Naturally he’ll only tell you “Let’s not do that clichéd Valentine’s dinner. I just want to spend quality time with you at home.” Or he’ll take you to Wendy’s and a college basketball game with his grandmother. Long story.)
When that happens, and it happens to more unmarried women than not – the work starts. You know what I’m talking about. That elaborate planning you do that you hope compensates for both his ego and your disappointment. The fancy dinner, i.e. waiting in long lines at Whole Foods for the perfect French artisan bread. And strawberries. And chocolate. The spending one’s entire paycheck on inevitably overpriced lingerie at Victoria’s secret. It can take a lot of money and time just to collect all those V-Day necessities.
And then starts the grooming. God forbid an eyebrow hair is out of line. Valentine’s Day is the one day when a woman MUST look perfect for one’s man. All this while preparing a four-course meal.
It’s enough to drive a woman mad. And bankrupt.
Men, on the other hand, have it easy. Grab a cardboard heart filled with chocolates, and a gushy-sentimental card from CVS. Maybe one rose. (Because I wanted to be different, sweetheart!) Call it a day.
Perhaps my perspective is a bit skewed. My experiences are only with men who (admirably) attempt – then fail, to plan well and surprise me. I always know what they’re going to do before they tell me. The men I know are just so obvious. Subtlety is not their gift. If it’s a restaurant, we play that whole “Do you know where I’m taking you? You’ll never guess!” game. Yes, of course I know. You would know too if you left the menu on your computer table, or if I sent you an email four weeks ago filled with suggestions.
It’s not just Valentine’s Day – it’s every special occasion with a sweetheart. Birthdays. Christmas. Anniversaries. Women sweat and torture themselves over the right color of table sheet, and the size of the luminaries – while men just sit back and enjoy the show.
Perhaps Valentine’s Day should be renamed Men’s Day. Heck, we already have Mother’s and Father’s days. Let’s have a Men’s and Women’s Day. Division of labor, that’s what I’m talking about. If men knew that one day a year, they were supposed to prepare a surprise (oxymoron, I know), maybe they would actually make an effort.
So girls, save your time and money this Valentine’s Day. Use it to buy Hallmark stocks or something. Men have figured it out, why haven’t we? Skip the fireworks. Only amateurs need to dazzle and impress. If you need to be Martha Stewart+Bree Hodge to keep a man happy, he may not be the man for you. Pop a frozen pizza in the oven. Put on some lipstick. Trust me, if he loves you, he really won’t care. What matters is that you’re there, with him. And that’s what counts.
