Me: Hey Mom, did you see that newspaper I left out for you?
Mom: [Silent.]
Me: I left a copy of City Paper for you. Didja check it out?
Mom: [Silent.]
Me: The front-page article about Olney, didja read it?
Mom: Why would you leave that junk on my bed?!
Me: What?! It was an entire article about our neighborhood. You didn’t read it?!
Mom: You know I don’t read those porno-mags you bring home!
Me: Hahahahahahahahaha.
