I came across this Wall Street article on men who wear skinny jeans. Reminded me of last week, when I found myself in a room full of skinny-jean men, half of whom were hobbling around. It make me wince. Yes, indeed:
Doug Black has found himself in a tight squeeze more times than he cares to remember. One day, he got caught in the rain without an umbrella and was unable to run. When his colleagues sat in a circle, the 23-year-old English teacher from Portland, Ore., couldn’t cross his legs. And when he tried to jaywalk, while in Beijing for work, he couldn’t hop the median divider with his friends.
“I had to walk half a mile down the street on my own to use the crosswalk,” he says.
His jeans were too tight. But he has no plans to buy a looser style. “Discomfort comes with the territory,” he says.
Yeah, so I fathomed as much. My little brother weighs some 20-odd pounds less than me. He wears skinny jeans. Jeans so tight and lean he has to buy them from the women’s section of a department store. Jeans that make me envious, because they’re a women’s size 00 and I can hardly get an ankle in one. But I can’t say skinny jeans on men do it for me.
There’s just something about all that leg. It’s too definied. (Same reason I don’t wear belly-baring shirts and mini-skirts). A little mystery is nice. Plus, who cares about men’s legs? Okay, there are those girls to whom skinny jeans on a man are the equivalent to a bouquet of flowers. But still, what’s the point? For a while, I thought maybe cyclists wore ‘em to avoid getting in a tangle, but that doesn’t really make sense either. (Which isn’t to say cyclists are’nt hot, skinny jeans or not.)
But, I’ve always wondered about the (*delicate cough) effect of skinny jeans on a man’s, um, nether regions. I mean, I know guys who refuse to wear pleated pants because they’re not airy enough, skinny jeans would probably kill them. Or kill something. But, hey, maybe most of the guys who wear skinny jeans are in their twenties and could use some birth control.
Somebody tell me, are these things even remotely comfortable? I know some have spandex in ‘em, but the majority are pretty stiff (no pun intended). Denim is not comfortable. At least until you’ve washed it like 500 times and put it through a meat grinder.
But it isn’t only for men. Skinny jeans hurt women too. Tell your friends! Burn your jeans. Okay, joke. But, seriously, stay light, not tight.