This week is our first Throwback Week, featuring 1,2,3 Red Light by 1910 Fruitgum Company, circa 1968.
Skip to 1:10 to hear the song – I just chose this video so you could get a little taste of the redonk, live from the studio. Plus I can’t resist those rockin’ literal flashing red traffic lights. It’s a nice touch, however subtle.
OMFG, where to start? Continue reading
But now I feel compelled. Yes, children, the spirit has come upon me! Because Republican Sen. John Eichelberger has declared his intention to write discrimination into the state constitution. Even though there already exists a state law declaring marriage is for breeders.
Since I dream of one day being a first-class citizen (a la Brave New World), and also admittedly because I’m half-unemployed and have nothing to do tomorrow, I think I’ll stroll across the street and cast a vote.
So, unemployed people of the world, don’t be *ssholes! Remember we’re a huge demographic now. Let’s put our sh*t to use!
/This post has been commandeered by guest blogger Don Bito/
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, democrat, elections, John Eichelberger, PA, Pennsylvania, primary, republican
Check in every Friday for guest blogger DonBito’s thrashing of your favorite pop songs. And don’t forget to email your suggestions for next week’s blog to wegotthebits@gmail.com.
This week: “Poker Face” by Lady Gaga.
How can you trash Poker Face, whose throwback synth beat and thinly-veiled sexual metaphors have taken America by storm?
I’ll tell you, readers: You effing can’t. That’s because Poker Face takes everything great about modern pop music and rolls it up into a big questionable-bodily-fluid-and-candy-coated pill and shoves it down your eager throat. And when it’s over you can’t shake the feeling that your ears have been molested…and you liked it.
It makes you want to dance. It makes you want to have bathroom sex with a stranger. It makes you want to roll the windows down and do car karaoke. It makes you want to take a scalding hot shower and compulsively scrub every inch of your body with lye soap but you keep getting distracted and touching yourself.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged katy perry, lady gaga, poker face, pop music, slut, top 20
Check in every Friday for guest blogger DonBito’s thrashing of your favorite pop songs. And don’t forget to email your suggestions for next week’s blog to wegotthebits@gmail.com.
“Boom Boom Pow” by the Black Eyed Peas. (This link is to the full, uncensored version of the song – not the official video.)
I know what you’re thinking, readers: A song featuring the egregious use of onomatopoeia? How bad can it be?
I fear I cannot answer that question, for each time I listen to this song, new and terrifying dimensions of suckage unfold upon my ears. I would call this Ballad of Whomp a crime against humanity, except that it has somehow debuted at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart this week, forcing me instead to lower my opinion of humanity itself.
Make the jump, if you will, and join me as I peel the onion of fail that is Boom Boom Pow.
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This post hijacked by guest blogger DonBito.
PhillyGrrl is on vacation for 48 hours and has committed the cardinal sin of giving me the power to publish my posts without editorial review.
AHAHAHAHAHA! The power! The PAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Had to do it. And now, to make this post marginally relevant, I invite you to check out the NYTimes’ “36 Hours in Philadelphia” feature. The first paragraph alone miraculously manages to not trash Philly, and to glorify gentrification! It’s a roller coaster of emotion in here.
Don’t forget to tune in later today for my very first “Does Your Pop Music Suck?” feature!
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Guest blogger DB takes on your sucky pop favorites every Friday with a new phillygrrl.com feature: “Does Your Pop Music Suck?”
Let me be the first to judge. Has this ever happened to you?
You’re driving in your car. Your favorite new pop song, the one you sped home to download the moment you heard it on the radio, is blasting from your speakers and you’re all like
You pull up to a red light just as the song ends and you belt out the last glorious lines of your new favorite song. You feel like you’re on top of the world. Continue reading
Okay, first of all, I’m kind of disappointed that no one covered this topic already, because it’s not exactly a Don Bito post unless it’s on a subject already beaten to death by those who need a life give a shit are more up-to-the-minute reporters.
Jimmy TwoShoes, Devoted Reporter/Raging Virgin.
Well in any case, I’m talking about the defection of Senior PA Senator Arlen Specter. (“Senior” in the “senate veteran” way but also in, you know, the “big boy poopy diaper” way.) I’m not gonna lie, I’m quite tickled by the notion that the Dems may soon accrue the filibuster-proof 60 votes that it will take utterly decimate any hope for the Republican party. Because constant-reassurance-that-the Democratic-party-will-never-champion-my-political-beliefs aside, what’s not to like? Continue reading
Guest blogger DB on ol’ Ms. Cali. I guess this topic never gets old…
Those of you with jobs that offer nothing more interesting than reading pop culture blogs day in and day out (HOLLA!), or those of you who watch the Miss America contest (kill yourself) have probably caught wind of the puffed-up Perez Hilton vs. Ms. California vaguely-possibly-in-some-way-distantly-related-to-gay-marriage-but-not-really “scandal.” Only it’s less of a scandal and more of a piece of media detritus that got stuck in the trash compactor. Not to quibble over labels.
Anyway if you missed it, all that happened was Perez Hilton, who was apparently a judge for the Ms. America contest, asked Ms. California whether or not she believed that gays should have the right to marry, and Ms. America said “no.” BestWeekEver has the story and video here. Seems like a simple enough exchange, right?
Readers, if I pass one piece of advice along to you, let it be this: Never underestimate the wiles of media whores. In retrospect it seems inevitable that this would end with Ms. California praying for Perez’s gay soul and Ms. Perez taking the opportunity to use boring profanity on television. (BestWeekEver also has that story here. Stay tuned for the part where the anchor, with a look of consternation, says “he went on to call you the C word. What’s your response to that?”) Continue reading
The time has come for me to take a step back and let some other phillygrrls (and guys), have their say. Thanks to DB for contributing a post (and keeping my brain from exploding today).
Salivations, PhillyGrrl readers. The name is Don Bito, and I’m here to drop some knowledge on you. (It’s officially talk-like-you’re-on-Dark-Angel week in my head. There’s your first little nugget.)
But seriously folks. Bito and the PhillyGrrl go way back, all the way to that dark and treacherous time we all long to forget: high school. So perhaps our rivalries stem from some needy adolescent hangover… or perhaps from that time in college when we made a $20 bet to see who could score the highest on our British Lit papers (me) and someone took one look at their paper and started a premature celebration until they saw someone else’s score (mine) and then someone walked away both richer and more irritatingly self-satisfied (me).
